So how many dumb things do you have to do before you actually are stupid. Sometimes I make stupid decisions, not in big things, but in little things, things that are not a big signifiance... but still I make a bad decision on what should be a easy and basic thing, like money in a parking meter or a tram ticket.
I sometimes wonder whether I have left my brain to rot and it is slowly decaying and gradually I am becoming more and more stupid and more and more unable to make clear decisions when it comes to those little things.
Certainly others wouldn't make such silly little mistakes, and usually I wouldn't. But lately i do. Why? Why when I know better?
Some people might say it's because i don't think something through before I do it, yet mostly I am the sort of person who plans ahead, well at least I thought.
I get frustrated at this, frustrated because I made such a stupid mistake. Frustrated because others know I made such a silly mistake and frustrated because people think that I made a dumb mistake.
Others times I wonder if it's too late, I'm destined to a life of silly little mistakes.
I feel I have come to a point in many ways where I am unable to turn back in some people's opinion of me.
It makes me wonder, how can we, humans wipe the slate clean.... too easily we continually judge/view people by their past, what we've experienced of them, things they're done, said.
Can we really start from scratch, or is it always going to be there... that memory of whatever it is.... tainting the way we view that person, creating the image we see in them, who they are when we define them.
I believe God can do this and oh how I would love to fully grasp this in my own life. Unconditional, wipe the slate clean relationships, as well as the power to move forward in my struggles and give others a reason to wipe my slate clean.